Meaningful Looks
by innocent passerby
Summary: Tsuna and Kyoko finally get together, but things don't look too good for the new couple after a while. Gokudera's there to pick up the pieces.


When Tsuna had first started to date Kyoko, Gokudera couldn't shake the sudden and intense jealousy he felt. He hid it with a smile and stayed by Tsuna's side, feeding him compliments and advice on how to be a good and thoughtful boyfriend to Kyoko. On one hand, it was torture knowing it wouldn't be him that made Tsuna smile like that. Still, he wanted the tenth to be happy.

Giving the advice had been surprisingly simple. Gokudera had merely told Tsuna to do the things for Kyoko that he would have done himself for Tsuna. It worked well and Gokudera felt his heart swell whenever he heard Tsuna shower him with sweet words of thanks and praise.

Over time, Gokudera had grown used to seeing the two of them together and he was waiting for the day that Tsuna would announce their engagement. Gokudera had come to accept that Kyoko was the one for the tenth and he had given them both his blessings.

If seeing Tsuna fall in love had been painful for Gokudera, he realized it was nothing compared to the pain of seeing the tenth's heart broken.

Gokudera had first noticed the change in Tsuna on the morning about a week after Tsuna's twenty-first birthday. Expecting to see the young mafia boss arrive in good spirits with that smile that could brighten the darkest of hearts, Gokudera was forelorn to see that Tsuna's expression was dull and full of hurt. Gokudera had wanted to comfort Tsuna and help him, but when he approached his boss in that fragile state. Tsuna had snapped at him and went as far as to order him out of the office.

Gokudera had spent the last three days skillfully avoiding the places he'd frequently "run into" Tsuna during the day. He felt like a burden on Tsuna and understood all too well the desire to be left alone when he was unhappy. Gokudera had even started to take his lunch break at a different time than usual.

"There you are!" Gokudera tensed and gripped his chopsticks almost hard enough for the wood to snap in his strong fingers. He immediately recognized the feminine voice that was full of its usual shrill excitement. It was Haru. "I've been looking all over for you," she announced in a voice (for which Gokudera silently thanked God) that was a bit quieter.

"What do you want?" Gokudera asked her, his own voice full of roughness from unused and tobacco smoke. He wasn't in the mood to socialize. He just wanted to continue brooding about Tsuna's sad eyes and that anger that was directed towards him.

"Idiot, I don't want anything," Haru retaliated, but her voice wasn't as sharp as he had expected it to be. "Tsuna's looking for you. He's been depressed for days, so you better go talk to him about whatever you did to upset him."

Gokudera was out of his chair before Haru had even finished speaking. He wondered if he had somehow been the cause of his boss's upset. It's not like the thought hadn't crossed his mind a dozen times already. Still, he couldn't keep hiding when he knew that Tsuna was going out of his way to look for him.

Leaving his food barely touched, Gokudera practically ran from the cafeteria to Tsuna's office. It wasn't a long distance, but it did involve several flights of stairs, so he was disheveled and out of breath by the time he reached Tsuna's office door. It was opened, like it usually was when Tsuna wasn't having a personal meeting.

"G-Gokudera-kun?" Tsuna spoke with an astonished look in his eyes. Gokudera was well aware that he must have been a sight to see considering the bead of perspiration that was easing its way across his brow and down his temple.

"You were looking for me, Tenth?" Gokudera asked, though it was hardly intelligible because of his panting and gasps to feed his thirsty lungs.

Gokudera was relieved to see amusement on the tenth's face. He was invited into the office and urged to close the door behind him. "You deserve an apology and explanation, I think—and no, don't bother telling me not to apologize, since I really am sorry for snapping at you like I did."

As always, Tsuna's powers of observation amazed Gokudera. Somehow, Tsuna had realized that he didn't want to hear Tsuna apologize to him. (Though, he didn't realize that anyone with half of a brain could have figured that one out.)

"I should apologize too, Tenth! I was the one who bothered you when I could clearly see that you were having a bad day and wanted to be left alone," Gokudera insisted, slamming his hands palms down on the top of Tsuna's office desk. Gokudera was leaning at an acute angle over the desk and more noticeably over Tsuna.

"Er, yes… but you didn't do anything wrong at all, so you don't need to apologize. It kinda makes me feel worse…" That put a stop to Gokudera's protests immediately. The taller man quietly took a seat in front of Tsuna's desk. He was wearing a look of confused turmoil on his face.

Tsuna took the lengthy silence as a cue to begin the explanation part he had promised. "You may have already guessed it, but Kyoko-chan and I've decided to break up. We're still going to be friends, but I thought it would be unfair to her if I kept seeing her, you know? I'm not able to have enough free time to spend with her and work follows me even when I go home… what, with the Millefiore getting more aggressive every day. Besides, it would be too dangerous for her to get anymore involved."

Gokudera waited only half patiently for Tsuna's thought to co0me to a close before chiming in. "If you're overworked, all you've got to do is say so and I'll take on more, Tenth. Are you sure you're okay with just breaking up with her?" Even if Gokudera still felt a stab of jealousy when he saw the way Tsuna looked at the girl, he wanted to see that blissful and happy expression on Tsuna's face again.

"You already do more work than anyone," Tsuna said, face and voice full of shock with maybe a little horror mixed in. "You should be the one cutting back, since you're in the middle of college on top of things…"

"Nonsense, Tenth," Gokudera interrupted with a grin that he hoped looked more reassuring than it did stressed out. "I'm making good grades and I have some extra time that I could spend looking over forms for you during the evenings."

Tsuna became quiet, but Gokudera hadn't noticed because he had been filling the silence. When he finally did notice, he followed Tsuna's lead and the silence became a heavy blanket laying over them.

"Don't think I haven't noticed," Tsuna said darkly with almost accusing steadiness. It was a habit that Tsuna had developed since he'd learned to use hyper-intuition without being in his dying will state. "You're definitely over-worked. Your eyes are always tired and you drink enough coffee for ten people. Yet, you're still worried about _me_ being overworked when I'm nowhere near overworked in comparison? Not only that, but you spend so much time poking into my business to make sure I'm happy, even when your own eyes are full of pain…"

Gokudera neither interrupted nor replied to those words. He hadn't realized that Tsuna could see through him so easily. He scolded himself for not having enough faith in the tenth.

"I… I forbid you from take on any more of a work load until I decide otherwise." Tsuna had kept his reluctance to lead through the years, but he sometimes stepped in with that infallible tone to give an order here or there when he was really worried about something.

Gokudera bowed his head, unable to protest against that voice. Deep down, he felt like he was useless for not being able to do more. Gokudera expected to see Tsuna as his usual carefree self when he raised his head, but he was surprised to see the tenth Vongola boss still downcast and dark. "T-Tenth? I agree to the terms…"

Tsuna looked up finally and his appearance made a space in Gokudera's chest feel tight. There were tears threatening to break free of their prison behind Tsuna's eyelashes. "Tenth… why?" Gokudera got out of his chair and hurried to Tsuna's. He took Tsuna's clenched hand into both of his own and rubbed his knuckles softly until it became noticeably relaxed.

Tsuna looked down at his right-hand man, an odd expression painted on his face. "Why do you care so much?" He asked, eyes widening in disbelief. Tsuna didn't pull his hand away from Gokudera's, though. "Gokudera-kun… please stand up…"

Gokudera pulled Tsuna's hand up to his lips and kissed each knuckle tenderly. He'd done this only a few times before and Tsuna had become embarrassed on every occasion. This time, Tsuna didn't pull back, but he did divert his gaze from Gokudera as a pink tint overcame Tsuna's cheeks. "I'm sorry, Tenth… I'm not even sure why, but does it really matter? Whether I put it into words or not, it doesn't change how much I care," even as Gokudera spoke, his mind was reeling in efforts to organize his disjointed thoughts. He wanted so much to give Tsuna all the details he could come up with.

Tsuna's laugh came as a soft chuckle that still surprised Gokydera. The quiet sound eventually got louder and Gokudera, though somewhat confused, joined in. The two of them shared the moment until Gokudera's thoughts caught up with him. "Tenth, what's so funny?"

"You sound like a soap opera," Tsuna told him, also coming down from the high of laughter. He was still smiling brightly. "I guess you're right. The reasons aren't what matters… What I want to know is… why didn't you ever say anything about it?"

Gokudera felt warmth spread across his cheeks and he stared at his boss in surprise. Gokudera didn't notice that his grip on Tsuna's hand was tightening. "Tenth… why didn't I say what..?"

"That you're in love with me," Tsuna informed, head tilted innocently to one side which somehow accentuated his smile rather nicely.

Gokudera's mind felt light years away. He had no idea how to respond, since he felt he had been hiding it rather well. "Did… Did that baseball freak tell you..?"

"He didn't have to," Tsuna laughed again. It was a pleasant sound that reminded Gokudera of wind chimes on a back porch. "Even without hyper-intuition I could tell. It's been years, hasn't it? Why didn't you ever say anything? Even when I went to you to get advice about Kyoko-chan, you never followed your own advice."

Gokudera smiled softly, but he knew that Tsuna could probably see right through it to his remorse."You seemed happy, Tenth. You were always smiling and she looked happy with you too. What kind of person would I have to be to take that away from you?"

"You're an idiot, you know? Weren't you the one who convinced me that I'd be wasting time if I didn't act on my feelings and ask her out? Even while I was with Kyoko-chan… you only ever had eyes for me." Tsuna's expression was hard for Gokudera to read. He thought he could see something like regret there, but Tsuna was always better at noticing things like that than Gokudera would ever be.

"Yeah… I guess I did say that, but it's because I saw that longing look in your eyes when you looked at her. I wanted to see your face when you got what you wanted," Gokudera explained to Tsuna, but Tsuna's expression was telling him that he had just missed something important.

"You mean… I had the same look for Kyoko-chan that you've had for me," Tsuna's words were a statement and not a question. Tsuna's voice proved that he was confident in his observations and even if it was embarrassing, Gokudera was happy to hear that kind of tone. "But you told me to act on it… and not wait another minute, right?"

"I guess you really did notice… don't worry about me though, Tenth. If you want me to help you get back together with Sasagawa-chan, I'll do whatever I can." Gokudera glanced down at where he was holding Tsuna's hand. Tsuna had added his own left hand to the fray and it was resting on top of Gokudera's softly.

"Follow your own advice, Gokudera-kun. Don't be an idiot… don't let the one you love go by without even trying. You'll never know until you try, right?" Tsuna told him softly, using Gokudera's words.

Tsuna's advice made Gokudera's chest ache, but when he looked into Tsuna's gently smiling eyes, he thought that maybe, just maybe, Tsuna was giving him pretty good advice. "Tenth… I guess you're right…" Gokudera told him and waited until he remembered that he needed to breathe before continuing. Gokudera brought Tsuna's hand up to his lips once more and paid a second homage to each knuckle. "Tenth… I think I'm in love with you… and if you give me a chance, I'll do everything within my power to see you smile contentedly when you think of me…"

Gokudera felt Tsuna's hand slip from his grasp. His eyes were locked with Tsuna's and Gokudera could see fondness gazing back at him. Gokudera entwined his fingers through the fingers on Tsuna's right hand. Before long, he felt the whisper of Tsuna's fingertips graze across his cheek and into his hair. Gokudera's breath was trapped somewhere between his throat and lungs when Tsuna leaned down and planted a feather-light kiss on Gokudera's forehead.

"You took a long time to follow your own advice, you know," Tsuna's breath tickled Gokudera's hairline as he spoke. "Even though you looked at me with that expression in your eyes, you still never said anything. No one else is as intense as you are… no one else gave me those looks as strong or as often as you do. I was worried you'd find someone else to look at like that, and it was starting to dominate my thoughts… even when I was with Kyoko-chan." Tsuna's lips touched Gokudera's skin softly as he spoke and Tsuna was slowly moving his mouth across Gokudera's cheek and finally to the crook of his neck. Gokudera could feel his heart hammering in his chest and his usually calm hands with surgical precision were starting to tremble.

"That's why I was quick to anger the other day when I broke up with her. I was mad because I was blaming you… since I couldn't stop thinking about you. I'm sorry, Gokudera-kun… I had no right to snap at you," With Tsuna's audible apology, he planted light kisses over Gokudera's neck. Gokudera wanted to tell Tsuna to stop apologizing, but he didn't trust his own voice. Instead, Gokudera squeezed Tsuna's hand in his own, slipping his left hand away so he could put it around Tsuna's shoulders to give him a comforting hug.

The two young men stayed like that for several minutes, enjoying one another's light touches and affection. They were unfortunately reminded that they both had a lot of work to do. "Let's continue later, Gokudera-kun. Let's meet here at 6 to go to dinner."

Gokudera accepted the invitation eagerly, then bid his leave so he could hurry on his paperwork and homework so he would have as much time as possible to talk with his tenth.


End file.
